“Dangerously anti-Nintendo”

Pardon?

As you may have noticed, this website now bears the legend above (and if you don’t see it, press CTRL+F5 to refresh from the server).

This came about after somebody from a forum came to koffdrop.com read a few posts and branded me “dangerously anti-Nintendo”. I think the statement says a lot about today’s gamers and gamer culture. In fact, I believe it says far more about that than it does about me.

Those that know me understand I have a bee in my bonnet about Nintendo. This isn’t because I hate them, it’s because they are universally adored for being a ruthless capitalist corporation and that their vocal fans will merrily avoid facts and conveniently forget or attempt to disprove poor behaviour on Nintendo’s part so as to ram the “can do no wrong” ideal down the rest of this culture’s throat.

Whilst Nintendo talk about innovation as they pitch Zelda sequels and re-brand Tetris so heavily that anyone might assume Nintendo actually invented it the general gamer consensus is that they are the golden boys of gaming. Unjustly knocked off the top-spot by ‘evil’ Sony. Oddly enough it’s unlikely that Sony would ever have created the PlayStation if Nintendo hadn’t got greedy on their SNES-CD dealings with them in the first place.

No, I don’t blindly dislike Nintendo. Certainly not in the way that huge swathes of gamer culture blindly adore them or blindly hate another company.

What I seek are facts about the movements of these companies, the industry and the culture. What the culture responds to and believes so clearly in are not facts but urban myths. Combine this attitude with one that cannot handle criticism, is frequently the first one to throw abuse and is generally the least understanding or informed and the result your average vocal gamer. The alternative is someone like me. A gamer of twenty-five years, working with a respected developer in the games industry watching the monkeys take over the zoo and deciding that enough is enough.

To be anti-Nintendo is not ‘dangerous’. I might ask why some people think it is. They might suggest that my stance on Nintendo must be down to some misunderstanding, lack of appreciation, unfamiliarity or plain bigotry. Few have ever entertained the notion that my stance might be based on the opposite of all these things.

“Dangerously anti-Nintendo” has a strong whiff of McCarthyism about it. It suggests that, to be anti-Nintendo or to be perceived as anti-Nintendo by those that glance at me and judge me so quickly, is somehow wrong. It threatens the status quo of gamers perhaps?

Those comfy, happy campers who think innovation is spelled with an N at the front and that endless remakes of 20 year old games are a testament to the ingenuity of grinning Japanese corporation might not like such sentiments. Whilst they dish out accusations of copying to anyone who comes too close to their electronic idol they resolutely refuse to see the full picture of what it is they are so determined to protect. They refuse to have their illusion shattered.

That makes my stance dangerous?

I prefer to think of it as a disruptive approach. 😉

If you’re a free thinker, a gamer that can formulate an opinion beyond the media hype and the herd mentality then you too can be dangerous – just like me! Koffdrop.com will soon be hosting dangerous buttons and badges for you to use. Don’t believe the hype. Be disruptive! Be DANGEROUS!

Watch this space.

Are Nintendo supporters just tight fisted?

Seems like a silly question when you consider that they’ve probably bought the same game at least TWICE from Nintendo over the years – and more often than not as a launch title to a new console.

I mean, if they’re thrilled at being given the chance to buy things twice then why are they getting all huffy and puffy over console retail prices?

The answer, of course, is that it’s a SONY console. The internet can barely contain it’s glee at having another stick to bash Sony over the head with and, as usual, is doing a shockingly poor job at it when you apply some facts and a sense of perspective.

So, courtesy of an article Curmudgeon Gamer, it gives me great delight to offer some facts:

The image to the left shows console prices at launch dating back to 2006 in the US. You’ll notice that there’s a couple of consoles that significantly outweigh Sony’s latest offering. The easily excitable amongst you will argue that the Neo Geo was a flop (not true – but games retailing at £300 a pop didn’t help) and that 3DO was a failure (not strictly true – but down to lack of 3rd party support, which I don’t think anyone would be dumb enough to accuse Sony of lacking). Of course some readers might ask “What the hell is a Neo Geo or a 3DO?” to which I’d respond with something slightly less civil than “STFU n00b!”.

And then, there’s the perspective to add to those figures. This second graph adjusts those launch prices of consoles and applies the cost of inflation to them. Now, I’m pretty certain that a lot of the thoughtless pro-Nintendo zealots are totally unfamiliar with the concept of inflation all I can suggest is that they go off and speak to mummy and daddy about it. Oh, just so you’re clear kids, I’m not talking about the process of blowing up balloons here.

So, there you have it – some facts, some perspective and all that jumping around and finger pointing and jumping on the Sony bashing bandwagon is shown up for the baseless mindless drivel that usually fuels the actions of these little twerps.

Oh, by the way, if you want to strike back with the “Ah well, but they’ve dropped RUMBLE in their new PS3 controller so they still suck” then I’ll respond by saying that, just possibly, Sony are copying Nintendo again. I mean, when was the last time you felt Nintendo’s Wavebird wireless controller rumble?

See how astoundingly dumb you look when you all leap to bash something without actually paying attention to a few small yet significant facts? It’s just the flip-side of the coin that the easily led demonstrate when they believe the baseless hype their favoured company spouts.

You can be sure that I’ll be there to set the record straight. I may be outnumbered, but I’m never outgunned.

Would you buy Wii off these folks?

I think that bowl might be some addon that Nintendo will release at a later date. Speculate about it NOW!

Copycats and fanboys

OK, so Sony, who get a lot of flak for the kids who can’t bear the fact it’s not 1995 any more, have pulled a blatant copying stunt with the tilt-sensing Dual Shock 3. First of all, it appears to me that it’s far more of a copy of tilt-sensing games like the older GB games like Kirby’s Tilt and Tumble than the Wii-mote. But, fanboys and their short and selective memories will only go as far as the first thought that enters their head. So what’s new there eh?I applaud Sony for having the balls to do what they’re doing. It’s not particularly grown up or noble but, frankly, business doesn’t need to be. And kids, this is a business we’re talking about here. None of these companies love you, they all want your money. Yes, even Nintendo.

By the time we’re talking about boxes on shelves the overall impact of Nintendo’s vision will be vastly reduced. Sure, it’ll still have total freedom of movement and still look like a remote control but it won’t be the only thing out there that does that sort of thing. Frankly, it never was – only those fanboys too ignorant to believe that such a device could ever exist before Nintendo thought of it ever thought so. So, that leaves Nintendo with a lot less originality to take to the bank courtesy of Sony. You could argue that Microsoft do this to Apple a lot of the time actually. I don’t think Bill Gates is regretting those decisions, do you?

But this topic is about the noble art of plagarism. There’s copying ideas and then there’s copying of entire identities.

Allow me to elaborate. Apple ‘chic’ is the fashionable look. You can spot their style a mile off. Apple, perhaps more than any other manufacturer around, has made their technology fashionable. The Apple interface look and those damn glass buttons are still being copied on websites and operating systems all over the place. They’re trendsetters in technostyle and fair play to ’em!

Consoles don’t sell on their appearance. Gamers would never be so superficial! Who care’s what something looks like. It’s like caring about graphics over gameplay! The notion is ridiculous! Nintendo are, apparently, making this point very clear that we should not care about the superficiality of our hobby but care about what it feels like.

Well I’ll tell you this: when you touch a DS Lite or stroke a Nintendo Wii it’ll feel just like the Apple product that it so thinks it is.

This is no accident. Nintendo’s redesign of the DS and their overal design of the Wii is straight from Apple. I really don’t think anybody is going to argue that. Even Wii – a totally made up word makes you notice the ‘i’ more than any other letter. That same ‘i’ as in iPod or iMac. For a made up word it might as well be ‘Woo’ or ‘Wee’ – the latter being far more suited to the notion of “we” and “inclusive gaming” and far less like a mis-typing of Wi-Fi than Wii does. But if Nintendo did that then they wouldn’t share that all important ‘i’ that has seeped into the consumer consciousness of people with Apple products and those aware of iMac and iPod. Frankly, the only way Nintendo could be more blatant would have been to call it iRev.
But what am I going on about? I’m just making this up! Maybe the logic makes some sense but some of you simply must think I’m making too many assumptions in another critical review of Nintendo’s practices.

What if I told you they pulled this stunt over a decade ago?

What if I told you that the last time they did it they were latching onto Sony’s identity and not Apple’s?

“PREPOSTEROUS! YOU KNOW NOTHING!” comes the chants of the Nintendo supporters. I must be making it all up. Right?

Wrong.

Cast your mind back to the way the world was when Nintendo launched their astoundingly succesful Gameboy handheld. That was in 1989. If you weren’t around in 1989 or think I’m asking too much of you to think back that far because you were too young and your the sort of dweeb that happens to go around making “Sony copy Nintendo!” accusations then you can fuck off right now. You’re ignorant and narrow-minded and, most importantly, wrong.

So, 1989. What was big in 1989 around the time the original Gameboy launched? Well, I’ll tell you. It was small. It was portable. It ran on batteries. It was a global phenomenom and it was an entertainment device.

It was the Sony Walkman.

It’s not inaccurate in any way to say that the Sony Walkman was 1989’s cultural equivalent of the Apple iPod. Like the Apple and iPod, Sony and Walkman were synonymous with the ‘walkmans’ of every type and manufacture – even those countless Toshiba, Aiwa, Sanyo, Samsung, Philips and other makes. Sony was the name and Walkman was the brand.

Now, to make my point, say the word “Walkman” in your head at a moderate pace five times over.

Now, say the word “Gameboy” out loud.

Gee whizz! Did you notice that? Walk / Game, Man / Boy ??? There’s some pretty clear brand theft going on there wouldn’t you say?

Nintendo know what they’re doing and they’re happy to act the parasite and latch onto a popular cultural brand if it’s going to raise the profile of their product. They did it with Walkman and they’re currently doing it again, nearly 20 years later, with Apple.

Of course, to see this you need to stop gushing over ever word Nintendo say. You have to stop believing every false claim they make. You have to stop falling for the hype and look for the truth. The truth can be alarmingly obvious – as I’ve just demonstrated.

I wonder if Sony would bother to copy if Nintendo hadn’t been there to show them how to do it in the first place?

Karma

Feed me E3

Hello folks, just a quick note to let you know I’m without a computer, phone or even a desk as I start my new job.

As such, I’m not getting to see much of (or comment on) what’s happening at E3 until I get home in the evenings – at which point there’s so much information to digest that I simply don’t know where to begin!

So, do me a favour and add a couple of comments and links to let me know what you think I should be focusing my attention on.

Much appreciated! 😐

Monkfish!

Back in mid-March I wrote a post here. The point of the post was more for me to vent my frustration than to educate or inform any readers. I’d been having a pretty hard time of it at work due to ridiculous workloads being handed to me – the direct result of staff leaving my team and not being replaced whilst picking up all the work for my system that they covered. This, in a nutshell, saw me doing the workload of four people with little support and no reasonable solution being made by my employer. I was planning on making an official grievance and was looking to do things The Right Way. I understood that seeing my GP to comment on how this was affecting my health and mental state would be worth doing and support my grievance claim. Unsurprisingly, my GP signed me off work. I certainly wasn’t planning on communicating with my employer but felt a good “work sucks” post (that deliberately didn’t mention names) at my own website would be good therapy for me. That’s what the ‘I’m not dead’ post was about.

So, if you’ve not read the post in question then why don’t you do so now? It’s ok. I’ll wait.

I expected a few comments from regular readers but was pleasantly suprised to see a new commentator at my site – Monkfish. It turns out that Monkfish didn’t think much of my situation and had plenty to say on the matter. Obviously, I had a differing point of view and decided to respond to his comments. Monkfish in turn felt it necessary to respond again and a little exchange began. You can read all of this in the comments below the original post.

By the end of the exchange it’s fairly accurate to say that I felt Monkfish was being deliberately antagonistic and what I’d hoped would be a mildly stress-relieving exercise had annoyed the tits off me.

This played on my mind for a few hours and one or two people said a few things to me about it and suggested that I try something..

The software that powers koffdrop.com is called WordPress. It’s great. One of the many useful things it does behind the scenes is store information about commentators. A commentator must have a name and an email to be allowed to make a comment. It’s unlikely that any commentator will use genuine details and, for the most part, that’s fine by me. If WordPress detects a new commentator it will not publish that person’s comments until the Administrator (that would be me) approves them. After a commentator has had a few approvals WordPress regards them as a trusted source and automatically approves that person’s comments without asking me. This is a good way of tackling comment-spam which litters some blogs.

Another piece of information collected by WordPress is the commentator’s IP address. This is a number specific to the computer they were connected to the internet by. It’s a rather useful nugget of information to have if you need to moderate something troublesome. An IP number will look like WW.XX.YY.ZZ . Some of that number will be about one specific machine on a network. Another part of that number will be about the network itself. Just like a postal address has a line about the street and then the city and then the county, the scale of geography that each element of the IP address covers grows. With this, information I could block a certain computer or all computers on a specific network or an entire network completely. IP numbers are useful in moderating communities; anyone that has ever seen the workings of an internet forum will be familiar with this.

So, I fire up a DOS prompt and request a traceroute on Monkfish’s IP. Here’s what I saw:

I suppose now would be the appropriate time to tell you that my employer at the time of writing is Experian. Experian is a company all about data and they take their data security very seriously. Whilst my little PC’s traceroute request might knock on the door of Experian’s network, it sure as hell isn’t going to let me in unless I’m meant to have access. So that’s where the traceroute’s usefulness will end.

However, it doesn’t take a computer geek to work out what this means. Monkfish, despite the claims of posting from home on their day off, was clearly using a computer inside of Experian’s network. It’s not too much of a logical jump to assume that Monkfish is an employee of Experian. Which tends to put quite a different spin on the reasoning behind Monkfish’s comments.

WordPress notifies me by email of any new comments added to any of the posts here at koffdrop.com. So, with that in mind, the end result is that my employer is responsible for sending me antagonistic emails whilst I’m signed off work with stress. All in all not quite the therapy I had in mind when I decided to have a little rant.

Apart from the sheer amazement at my employer’s mentality to allow such behaviour to happen – (behaviour that certainly constitutes bullying and harassment as defined in Experian’s own grievance procedure documentation) I was more than a little bit annoyed.

I’m not thrilled that I’ve seen respected colleagues move to tears due to pressure put on them by other staff. I’m not happy about having to compromise my own level of service to the clients I speak to simply because my workload had increased to such a point that I simply couldn’t double or triple check the things I needed to check. I’m angry that Experian’s apathy of the impending crisis was magnified by their total indifference to supporting their staff and the sheer mis-management of the issue and accusations directed at the staff that were trying to get on top of the situation.

I’m not thrilled that so much was dropped into my lap that it affected my health and happiness outside of this underpaid role and that my employer clearly appears to resent the fact that I wasn’t prepared to sit around getting taken advantage of any longer. I am, of course, not happy that my employer allows their staff to persecute and antagonise the staff that they made sick whilst they have been signed off sick by making the comments that Monkfish felt it necessary to make.

I think that if you re-read Monkfish’s comments with what you now know you’ll see just what sort of agenda was being acted upon.

Fortunately for me, my employer and Monkfish were not quite as smart as they thought they were and, thanks to WordPress, they left a little digital trail of breadcrumbs that this post elaborates upon. Feel free to try out the traceroute command yourself based on the information I’ve provided on the screengrabs above – you can see precisely what you have to type in if you look at the top of the second screenshot. Knock yourself out.

I sincerely hope that both my employer and Monkfish read this post on koffdrop.com. I imagine they’ll feel pretty angry at me for daring to make such a post but will then feel embarassed enough to realise that if they hadn’t behaved in such an unsavoury manner I wouldn’t be sitting here typing about their failed little game.

As a final sweet note I’d like to point out that I prepared this post on my home PC. WordPress allows the user to draft articles in advance and then publish those articles with the push of a single button much like drafting an email to be sent at a later date. The very last thing I’ve done on my work PC is log into the WordPress admin panel at koffdrop.com and hit the PUBLISH button on this post. It seems like a very fitting final action to perform before I switch off this PC for the very last time and head down to the pub and say goodbye to Experian forever.

The console formerly known as..

Look, I’m just not going to talk about it. OK? 😐

Nintendo and controllers

Here’s a couple of things that popped into my head recently that re-inforce my views on Nintendo. These are based on facts and are easily researchable on the internet.

See what you think:

Nintendo and analogue
There’s many that would argue that Nintendo, with the N64, introduced analogue control into gaming. Others resist this notion and are often greeted with “Ah, well if they didn’t invent it it’s them that made it popular”.

Nintendo are also frequently credited with the introduction of the d-pad as the common method of control in videogames.

With the above borne in mind, it’s well worth pointing out that many of the earliest videogame controllers were, in fact, analogue joysticks. Furthermore, many early arcade games such as Pong and Missile Command used analogue control in the form of twistable paddles or a trackball.

These methods of control were commonplace before Nintendo introduced the d-pad. In doing so, Nintendo nullified the existence of analogue control (whereby movement is detected in both direction and degrees of travel) and replaced it with digital control (directional control that is either on or off – you are either pushing UP or you aren’t).

With the above borne in mind, did Nintendo really innovate analogue control in games with the N64 or did they simply return what was commonplace in gaming before they saw fit to take it away?

Secondly, and more relevantly

Nintendo and complex controllers
Part of Nintendo’s mantra of the Revolution is to state that game controllers are too complex and are off-putting to fringe gamers who may wish to play games but not wrestle with today’s controllers. By simplifying this culture of complexity they believe they will widen the market and appeal to more people.

Often, statements such as these make their way into gamer culture and are accompanied by statements suggesting that Nintendo have often innovated in the area of game controllers.

Again, bearing in mind the text above, consider this:

Who made game controllers complex in the first place?

In the 8-bit era when Atari had a single button on their joystick – who added three more to their d-pad (don’t forget start and select)

In the 16 bit era, when the Megadrive had 4 surface buttons (a,b,c,start) who added 2 more to the surface and 2 more to the shoulders?

Who introduced two types of directional control to one pad? Who started hiding buttons underneath that pad? Who added analogue control? Who added rumble to console controllers? Who created a design of pad that suggested to the fringe-gamer that they would need three hands to hold it?

Are Nintendo really ‘choosing a new direction and thinking differently’ or are they just tidying up the mess they created in the first place?

I wonder, in a decade’s time – will Nintendo be claiming that games are too short, physically tiring and focus too heavily on one type of gameplay mechanic. Will they ‘once again’ show the rest of the industry how only they can create a solution but, as they do today, attempt to suggest that someone else created the problem?

Give it some thought.

Integrity and vision

Some time back, I had an epiphany. Last night, another one struck me.

It’s understandable that I don’t see games in the same way as some folk out there. I’m not a superficial gamer. Having spent some time in games development there’s some things in games that I’ll notice or appreciate that aren’t immediately apparent to others. I imagine that if you’re a muscian you appreciate music in a more involved way than a non musician. This may go some way as to why my views don’t always fit in with popular opinion but history tends to show that as power as popular opinion may be, it’s rarely an informed opinion.

Anyway, whilst thinking about games and, of course, Nintendo, I realised what it is that impresses me about some games that others may find unremarkable – and conversely, why I find some very popular games totally unremarkable.

Some games, to me, show a level of integrity in their design and execution that speaks volumes to me. To name a handful of games such as God of War, Burnout 3 or Katamari Damacy some might say I’m just naming big, popular game names. Certainly, these are great games. But the story behind them – and something I can see in the game whilst playing it is integrity.

Take God of War for example. It’s a fairly brainless action and gore fest. At the same time it’s a game that knows what it is and, more importantly, doesn’t try to be anything it’s not. It’s not there to define a new genre. It is precisely what it set out to be – a balls-to-the-wall action game. It’s a study in visceral gameplay and one of the finest western examples of the effort/achievement/reward dynamic that is the core of all videogames. The impression I have of the game is that it had it’s goals and it achieved every single one of them. Put simply – it delivers on it’s promise and doesn’t ever apologise for what it is, or what it isn’t.

Much can be said of Burnout 3 and Burnout Revenge. Oh, you can add some anti-Electronic Arts schtick if you must, but to do so you’re failing to understand what I’m talking about here. In as much as a magician is really not about magic or illusion but showmanship – to complain about his outfit is really missing the point. Burnout is it’s own game. It has it’s own goals. It’s not trying to be Outrun or Gran Tourismo or even Buggy Boy. The game is great because of the vision of it’s design and the integrity of it’s execution. Once again, it’s a visceral blast.

Take this approach to other games such as the majestic Shadow of the Colossus, Ninja Gaiden, Katamari Damacy, DRoD, Gridrunner++, Metal Gear Solid or even Halo and I hope you’ll see what I mean. Even Killer 7 – a game that is woefully short on actual pure gameplay can be regarded as a success due to it’s vision and integrity.
Licenced games aren’t automatically without integrity – but the great ones are few and far between because the vision is so rarely about the game as opposed to the licence.

And then we get to Nintendo.

I now understand that the core issue of my attitude against Nintendo is that, for all their claims and the claims bestowed upon them by superficial gamers, I find them totally lacking in integrity.

I do not get excited about a new Zelda game or another installment in Nintendo’s range of IP because such games, although carefully designed are not motivated by vision but by demand. The demand of those superficial gamers who claim they want something new but actually just want more of the same thing and the demands of Nintendo’s accountants.

Likewise, the Revolution lacks integrity because not only do I not beleive it is a ‘solution’ to bland gaming as Nintendo and their supporters claim but I refuse to acknowledge that gaming suffers any ailment that needs a cure. This machine is here to do one thing above all others – to make Nintendo money. Just like Sony’s machines and Microsoft’s machines. However, those companies are not presenting their box of circuits as a solution to some imagined problem. They are presenting them as games consoles which play games and blu-ray and make their developers and manufacturers money.

Nintendo’s charitable claims do no stand up under scrutiny and they lack integrity as a result. Apart from the overly-indulgent name of “Revolution” they marketing schtick is claiming that game controllers are too complex and put many off games. Hundreds of thousands of gamers suddenly agree.

But who made game controllers complex in the first place?

Who added more surface buttons? Who added shoulder buttons? Who added analogue control? Who added rumble?

Many of the Revolution’s staunchest evangelists will claim that the answer to all those questions is Nintendo. But Nintendo, in their PR and hype are doing all they can to suggest that it’s the competition that has made gaming complex and they are the ones with the pure vision.

When you stop and think about it you start to see through the hype. And you’re left seeing just what a company like Nintendo is up to and how happy it is to let facts go to the wayside.

My disdain for Nintendogs accolades is well documented. But to add to this I’m disgusted with Nintendo for releasing the same game in 3 flavours on the same day. I’m disgusted that they sell brand new hardware by launching it with years old games. I’m disgusted that they launch every new Pokemon game in pairs. I’m utterly disgusted with the speed at which the added sequels to Brain Training – taking mere weeks to make one product into a franchise of 4 or 5 volumes.

No other company in this industry has the nerve to do that. Electronic Arts – for all the bad press gamers love to give them – don’t do anything as mercenary as this.

In every new piece of news I hear, I fail to grasp any suggestion of integrity from Nintendo – yet they have commandeered the label and present it gleefully with everything they say. I would be less critical if what they said and what they did were similar things. That is why I find it easier to swallow hype and PR delivered by Nintendo’s competitors than from Nintendo.

Integrity, for me, is what makes me love the games I love. It’s something that can be seen in Outrun 2006 but in hardly any Zelda game in the last 10 years.

Great games are everywhere, but games with integrity are rare beasts indeed. And that is why Nintendo can rot in hell as far as I care – they’ve taken integrity away from gaming and too many gamers have thanked them for this.
Popular opinion, more often than not, is wrong.

R.I.P. reBlogging

As may already be apparent by the frontpage of koffdrop.com, I’ve decided to do away with reproducing news items from my collection of site feeds.

Apart from anything else, it takes away from the site and removes most of the personality – that it’s a site about Koffdrop – and swamps it with newsbites that make it seem like some random pickings of some games blog.

Although I’ve been pretty quiet of late I do have some important news to deliver next week. Important to me anyway 🙂 Some readers will already know what this news is. Suffice to say my mood has improved recently.

A quick warning and a recommendation – Don’t buy the new Tomb Raider game. It’s a massive improvement on the older games and really invigorates the franchise. However, it’s astoundingly short. Shorter than the very short King Kong game. Enjoy it but rent it. The recommendation is Outrun 2006 on pretty much any platform. If you love racing games, if you love Sega, if you love Outrun or if you just want a racing game that reminds you of the sheer fun and exhilaration that driving really fast around impossibly pretty scenery can be, then get this game.

If you want more information about Outrun or anything Sega related be sure to check out mySega which is currently going ga-ga over the game (and rightly so!)