In the same way that you know picking a healing scab is wrong yet you still go ahead and do it, defying your own common sense and all those things your mother told you, I had a moment of weakness I recently dipped my toe back into the frothy waters of internet forums. I think it’s turned septic.
I left forums some time back for a number of reasons. One of the reasons was that I was tired of attempting to explain myself to an audience that was absolutely determined not to get the point. Usually, I was pointing out holes in their arguments or errors in their way of thinking or presenting themselves. So long as the audience persists in acting as though they don’t understand what I’m talking about they can comfortably convince themselves that they are free of criticism. It amounts to those simple magic tricks that depend on misdirection and distraction than genuine skill. Psychologists see this behaviour a great deal and it’s summed up by stating that until the individual admits there’s a need to change then they’ll never change. Typically, a person would speak to a psychologist and explain how the world doesn’t understand them. The psychologist will explain that the world is as it is – if things are to improve it’s the person who must change, not the rest of the world. I am, of course, over generalising the situation but, hey, I’m trying to make a point.
My recent contributions to a particular forum topic have left me feeling as if I’ve personally re-lived a scene from a certain movie:
Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me… ending up together?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: Not good like one in a hundred?
Mary: I’d say more like one in a million.
Lloyd: ……….So you’re telling me there’s a chance?
The scene is funny because, we, the audience are smarter than Lloyd and we can both laugh at his idiocy and empathise with his misplaced optimism. At the end of the day though, the poor sap just isn’t getting the point because his desire to believe something eclipses his grip on the facts of the situation.
I like that movie. It’s dumb fun. But I wouldn’t want to LIVE that movie and I certainly wouldn’t want to live out that scene ten times a day for weeks on end. It’d exasperate me to the point where I’d have to switch off and never watch the movie again. Fortunately for me, I switched off in time for me to keep my sanity and leave the Harry and Lloyds of the internet doing stuff like this:
Lloyd: You’re it.
Harry: You’re it.
Lloyd: You’re it, quitsies!
Harry: Anti-quitsies, you’re it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Lloyd: You can’t do that!
Harry: Can too!
Lloyd: Cannot, stamp it!
Harry: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Lloyd: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Harry: No, you can’t do that… you can’t triple stamp a double stamp, you can’t triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
Lloyd: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not against humour. I even enjoy watching some slapstick. But I don’t want to swim in a sea of idiocy. It’s a shame as the forum I refer to does have a great sense of commnity. Unfortunately it just comes accross me now as a really well organised clown convention. I’m sure it’s fantastic fun if clowns are your thing. If you can’t get enough of flowers that squirt water and garish characters tripping up over their own feet then I’m sure it’d be your idea of Nirvana. The thing is, I don’t find clowns funny any more – maybe when I was 6, but not now.
Also, I realised that clowns have no sense of humour. You ever tried to tell a clown that they’re not funny? It just doesn’t register. How dumb can you get?