Prophecy or irony?

It seems that, mere days after me ranting about the damning uselessness of a game like Resident Evil 4 being waggled onto the Wii, new of a game so astoundingly thin on playability is rumoured to be heading Wiiwards also.

The rumours come from two highly unreliable sources (1, 2) – the former having a reputation for promoting pretty much any Nintendo rumours and information and feeding their insatiable audience of trolls many times per day. The other is a gaming forum. No comment.

Killer 7 was a wonderful piece of gargantuan style over totally absent substance. The game was so focused on being special and different it totally forgot to be playable or that Nintendo fan’s buzzword of choice fun. For an example of a game that achieved all those things have a look at Sega’s REZ and then dash off to your nearest fanboy forum and tell everyone that “omg! REZ would be AMAZING ON WII! The Wii controller is PERFECT for it!”

Whilst I’m here, everyone pining for an Okami remake on the Wii because “omg! Okami would be AMAZING ON WII! The Wii controller is PERFECT for it!” are dumb. The paint-brush controls part of Okami would be good on a Wii controller. Unfortunately, they represent about 5% of the game’s playing time and, with the meat of the game being exploration, puzzling and a wide variety of combat techniques that far eclipse the depth that Zelda: TP waggled limply onto the Wii with, it’s simply not a worthwhile venture and would serve to show how remarkably inappropriate the Wii controller is for many aspects of already great games.

If you want to paint, get a paintbrush.

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