Avez vous une cuppa?

I just thought I’d drop a quick note to bid folks au revoir as I’m off to the south of France for a couple of weeks to drink wine, laze about by a pool and generally do bugger all.

See you in a fortnight!  8)

Koffdrop on the DS Lite

So, I’ve had a DS for a while and I reckon it’s time to give my verdict.

I bought myself a black DS Lite, Brain Training, Tetris and Metroid Prime: Hunters.

The gizmo looks wonderful – however, after a few hours a dead pixel appeared on my top screen. Not good.

Moving on I found myself playing Tetris quite a lot as, after all, the game is a classic. I enjoyed all the modes and found PUSH to be the most enjoyable and workable of the new additions. I found the layer upon layer of in-your-face Nintendo iconography added into the game to be totally unnecessary and a little worrying. In a few years from now there will be, I’m sure, a new wave of fanboys insisting that, amongst other things, Tetris was invented by Nintendo. As someone who has played Tetris since it’s earliest Western incarnation (C64 – courtesy of Mirrorsoft) I’m not going to let anyone, least of all Nintendo, try to steal Tetris’ thunder. The game is great and cleanly presented on the marvelous DS Lite screens. In terms of gameplay everything is present and correct, my biggest gameplay gripe is that the ‘hold piece’ function isn’t really necessary and adds nothing particularly useful to the game (and can be too easily used unintentionally). Crucially the ‘infinite spin’ game mechanic is in this version of Tetris and also damages the original play balance in my eyes.

Brain Training is precisely what I knew it would be. Daily puzzles that are nicely presented with some contrived cuteness and a ‘sticky’ factor to encourage the player to come back for more. For me, there’s not much there that’s particularly clever or interesting. The game is a success in Japan mainly thanks to the receptive audience and the timing of the release. The pseudo-scientific spiel the game spouts is pretentious nonsense – as much as those adverts for cereals that “help to keep a healthy heart” or work “as part of a calorie controlled diet”. Yeah, regular excersize is good – for mind body and soul. Just because thousands of lazy gamers can barely read or write doesn’t mean this game is going to make anyone intelligent. Don’t believe the hype and don’t believe that, just because it’s big in Japan it’s amazing. After all, they gave us Karaoke didn’t they?

Sodoku’s nice. But it could be nicer if input and navigation weren’t solely based on stylus control. There’s a d-pad that might let me navigate the zoomed-in view of the grid but the game doesn’t use it. Instead I have to tap the edge of the screen each time I want to move one square in any direction. Or I can zoom out and zoom in again. Would have been easier with D-pad support.

Metroid Prime: Hunters. Ugh. Wonderful presentation – doing what Nintendo do very well – taking some musical themes, jazzing them up and dropping them into another game in a series. Really nice FMV. Absolutely impossible to play if you’re left handed. The control isn’t very comfortable (an issue compounded by the DS Lite’s form-over-function design) and just not very intuitive. Perhaps it’s ok for right-handers. I’m not one of those.

I decided that Metroid Prime Hunters and a dead pixel were enough reason for me to walk back into the GAME store I bought the goods from. The staff were exceptionally helpful and replaced the unit immediately and also allowed me to swap Metroid Prime: Hunters for Mario and Luigi – Partners in Time. I’m enjoying this new game far more than Metroid.

I’d enjoy playing the DS more if it wasn’t so uncomfortable to hold. The unit is heavy enough to demand two handed play (or a flat surface to rest it on) and, in adult hands I’m finding gripping the thin unit, having my index fingers over the shoulder buttons and also pushing my thumbs up to the surface buttons to be rather uncomfortable rather quickly. I’d play the Mario and Luigi game more but, unlike any other system I’ve ever used, it’s simply too uncomfortable. I’ve also played New Super Mario Bros – a game where the player might choose to hold down a surface button to make the character run for most of the game. Doing so induces painful cramp after a couple of levels. I don’t regard my hands as particularly large or malformed so I have to wonder if the unit has suffered in its redesign to look like a sexy Apple product. Perhaps it’s Nintendo’s way of forcing people to play with the stylus. Either way I’m thinking that some where along the line they forgot about what your typical western adult is going to feel comfortable holding. For those of you with small hands – good for you.

In summary:

Pros

• Wonderful screen quality
• Exceptionally good audio quality
• Backwards compatibility

Cons

• Too uncomfortable for me to have extended gaming sessions on
• Sound quality suffers due to speakers
• Sleek design made hideously ugly the moment you take advantage of backwards compatibility
• Terrible 3rd party western support (can you say ‘Spongebob’ or ‘kart’?)

I will, however, love this as much as I love my GBA due to the Flash Linker that I am trying out – more on that in a later post.

I’m still not dead

But my PC was. I’ve had about three weeks worth of PC woes which have resulted in exchanges of motherboards, cpus, ram and quite a variety of four-letter words. I’m back on track now with everything pretty much ship-shape. There’s a couple of minor niggles I want to investigate but I’m sure they’re nothing I’m going to lose much more sleep over.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my best friend, best man and PC technician extraordinaire Marc for his advice and saint-like patience over the last three weeks. Thanks, as always, goes to my wonderful and astoundingly tolerant wife who helped to keep me sane!

I’ve not blogged from my new job because I’ve been rather busy doing a variety of things that I’m delighted to say I can’t tell you. Yes! Call me Mr. TOP SECRET because that’s the status of my current project. All I can say is that it’s next-gen and would be a number of videogamer’s DREAM project to be working on. Expect an official announcement in the far future (2007 at the earliest).

Making games isn’t quite the dream many gamers might think it is. My role as an associate producer has seen me doing many mundane things that aren’t exactly worlds apart from stock-taking or auditing. Of course, the context under which these tasks are performed is where the difference lies. All in all I’m delighted to be working with Free Radical and hope the relationship is rewarding for us both.

Speaking of employers.. ..my previous one, (the one I left just over 6 weeks ago) has seen fit to pay me a bonus this month. The bonus is related to the company’s performance during their financial year (April to April). I was working throughout that period and I guess they feel that makes me eligable for a bonus even if I’m not working for the company at the time the bonus is given out (June). I’m not complaining of course, just bemused and pleasantly better off.

I’ve done two very strange things this weekend. Things that many people would assume I’d never do – even under pain of death.

The first is that I went to see Take That live at the Milton Keyne’s Bowl. Look, that’s me on the right*:

*not really.

I’m not a Take That fan. I’m not a boy-band fan. In fact most popular music doesn’t interest me – I still prefer chiptunes. However, my gorgeous wife was a bit of a fan of the boys back in the day and when a reunion tour was announced her eyes lit up. Presenting tickets for the gig as a birthday present went down very well. I made it very clear that the pair of tickets were for her and a guest – not me. She invited her best friend who, a week or so ago, realised she’d double-booked and couldn’t make it. My wife put on her most alluring irresistible face and made it very clear how much she wanted me to be there and I was powerless to resist.

I made it very clear that I would NOT be enjoying myself nor be converted into a Take That groupie. I’m happy to say that I kept to my promise. The boys clearly put a lot of work into their 2 hours and the Beatles medley was a nice change from the blandness of the other tunes. The 2 hour ordeal to get out of the car park at 11pm wasn’t so great.

So, Koffdrop at a Take That gig. Whatever next?

Well, courtesy of Experian’s belated bonus, I splashed some cash on a DS lite. I’d been pondering over this for a little while. I’d been waiting for the DS homebrew community scene to report reliable flash-kits for the DS and a few months ago the compatibility seemed to reach the high percentages. This was what I’d been waiting for and then the DS lite date got announced and with Experian’s recent generosity it seemed that the stars had aligned and I should just go and get one.

Another massive incentive is that my sister (who doesn’t really play games) told me she got one some time back as when I explained the game Trauma Centre to her she was too interested in the idea to resist. She’s such a sucker for hospital stuff. Other gaming highlights of my sister’s select career have been Theme Hospital and the Life and Death PC games. And the Sims, naturally.

The DS Lite then. It’s cute. It’s certainly heavier than I expected and becomes a little *too* heavy for it’s size on lengthy sessions of Tetris and particularly Metroid Prime Hunters. I’m worried that I’ll not make much progress in the latter as the controls for a lefty like me are pretty grim (yes, even with ‘left handed’ mode on). Still, time will tell. My birthday is in July so I may ask for some more games and a WiFi connection to investigate gaming options. I must say the idea of throwing myself into a community of rabid DS fans isn’t a thought I relish. Thank God I’ve got some gaming colleagues to embarass myself against!

Oh, about the only other thing I have to report is that I finally decided to bash my way through the original Halo on the Xbox. It starts very strong. But they really switch the fun off in the second half and make the game a bore-fest. What a shame. Maybe I’ll have a gander at its sequel in a bit.

“Dangerously anti-Nintendo”

Pardon?

As you may have noticed, this website now bears the legend above (and if you don’t see it, press CTRL+F5 to refresh from the server).

This came about after somebody from a forum came to koffdrop.com read a few posts and branded me “dangerously anti-Nintendo”. I think the statement says a lot about today’s gamers and gamer culture. In fact, I believe it says far more about that than it does about me.

Those that know me understand I have a bee in my bonnet about Nintendo. This isn’t because I hate them, it’s because they are universally adored for being a ruthless capitalist corporation and that their vocal fans will merrily avoid facts and conveniently forget or attempt to disprove poor behaviour on Nintendo’s part so as to ram the “can do no wrong” ideal down the rest of this culture’s throat.

Whilst Nintendo talk about innovation as they pitch Zelda sequels and re-brand Tetris so heavily that anyone might assume Nintendo actually invented it the general gamer consensus is that they are the golden boys of gaming. Unjustly knocked off the top-spot by ‘evil’ Sony. Oddly enough it’s unlikely that Sony would ever have created the PlayStation if Nintendo hadn’t got greedy on their SNES-CD dealings with them in the first place.

No, I don’t blindly dislike Nintendo. Certainly not in the way that huge swathes of gamer culture blindly adore them or blindly hate another company.

What I seek are facts about the movements of these companies, the industry and the culture. What the culture responds to and believes so clearly in are not facts but urban myths. Combine this attitude with one that cannot handle criticism, is frequently the first one to throw abuse and is generally the least understanding or informed and the result your average vocal gamer. The alternative is someone like me. A gamer of twenty-five years, working with a respected developer in the games industry watching the monkeys take over the zoo and deciding that enough is enough.

To be anti-Nintendo is not ‘dangerous’. I might ask why some people think it is. They might suggest that my stance on Nintendo must be down to some misunderstanding, lack of appreciation, unfamiliarity or plain bigotry. Few have ever entertained the notion that my stance might be based on the opposite of all these things.

“Dangerously anti-Nintendo” has a strong whiff of McCarthyism about it. It suggests that, to be anti-Nintendo or to be perceived as anti-Nintendo by those that glance at me and judge me so quickly, is somehow wrong. It threatens the status quo of gamers perhaps?

Those comfy, happy campers who think innovation is spelled with an N at the front and that endless remakes of 20 year old games are a testament to the ingenuity of grinning Japanese corporation might not like such sentiments. Whilst they dish out accusations of copying to anyone who comes too close to their electronic idol they resolutely refuse to see the full picture of what it is they are so determined to protect. They refuse to have their illusion shattered.

That makes my stance dangerous?

I prefer to think of it as a disruptive approach. 😉

If you’re a free thinker, a gamer that can formulate an opinion beyond the media hype and the herd mentality then you too can be dangerous – just like me! Koffdrop.com will soon be hosting dangerous buttons and badges for you to use. Don’t believe the hype. Be disruptive! Be DANGEROUS!

Watch this space.

Are Nintendo supporters just tight fisted?

Seems like a silly question when you consider that they’ve probably bought the same game at least TWICE from Nintendo over the years – and more often than not as a launch title to a new console.

I mean, if they’re thrilled at being given the chance to buy things twice then why are they getting all huffy and puffy over console retail prices?

The answer, of course, is that it’s a SONY console. The internet can barely contain it’s glee at having another stick to bash Sony over the head with and, as usual, is doing a shockingly poor job at it when you apply some facts and a sense of perspective.

So, courtesy of an article Curmudgeon Gamer, it gives me great delight to offer some facts:

The image to the left shows console prices at launch dating back to 2006 in the US. You’ll notice that there’s a couple of consoles that significantly outweigh Sony’s latest offering. The easily excitable amongst you will argue that the Neo Geo was a flop (not true – but games retailing at £300 a pop didn’t help) and that 3DO was a failure (not strictly true – but down to lack of 3rd party support, which I don’t think anyone would be dumb enough to accuse Sony of lacking). Of course some readers might ask “What the hell is a Neo Geo or a 3DO?” to which I’d respond with something slightly less civil than “STFU n00b!”.

And then, there’s the perspective to add to those figures. This second graph adjusts those launch prices of consoles and applies the cost of inflation to them. Now, I’m pretty certain that a lot of the thoughtless pro-Nintendo zealots are totally unfamiliar with the concept of inflation all I can suggest is that they go off and speak to mummy and daddy about it. Oh, just so you’re clear kids, I’m not talking about the process of blowing up balloons here.

So, there you have it – some facts, some perspective and all that jumping around and finger pointing and jumping on the Sony bashing bandwagon is shown up for the baseless mindless drivel that usually fuels the actions of these little twerps.

Oh, by the way, if you want to strike back with the “Ah well, but they’ve dropped RUMBLE in their new PS3 controller so they still suck” then I’ll respond by saying that, just possibly, Sony are copying Nintendo again. I mean, when was the last time you felt Nintendo’s Wavebird wireless controller rumble?

See how astoundingly dumb you look when you all leap to bash something without actually paying attention to a few small yet significant facts? It’s just the flip-side of the coin that the easily led demonstrate when they believe the baseless hype their favoured company spouts.

You can be sure that I’ll be there to set the record straight. I may be outnumbered, but I’m never outgunned.

Would you buy Wii off these folks?

I think that bowl might be some addon that Nintendo will release at a later date. Speculate about it NOW!

Copycats and fanboys

OK, so Sony, who get a lot of flak for the kids who can’t bear the fact it’s not 1995 any more, have pulled a blatant copying stunt with the tilt-sensing Dual Shock 3. First of all, it appears to me that it’s far more of a copy of tilt-sensing games like the older GB games like Kirby’s Tilt and Tumble than the Wii-mote. But, fanboys and their short and selective memories will only go as far as the first thought that enters their head. So what’s new there eh?I applaud Sony for having the balls to do what they’re doing. It’s not particularly grown up or noble but, frankly, business doesn’t need to be. And kids, this is a business we’re talking about here. None of these companies love you, they all want your money. Yes, even Nintendo.

By the time we’re talking about boxes on shelves the overall impact of Nintendo’s vision will be vastly reduced. Sure, it’ll still have total freedom of movement and still look like a remote control but it won’t be the only thing out there that does that sort of thing. Frankly, it never was – only those fanboys too ignorant to believe that such a device could ever exist before Nintendo thought of it ever thought so. So, that leaves Nintendo with a lot less originality to take to the bank courtesy of Sony. You could argue that Microsoft do this to Apple a lot of the time actually. I don’t think Bill Gates is regretting those decisions, do you?

But this topic is about the noble art of plagarism. There’s copying ideas and then there’s copying of entire identities.

Allow me to elaborate. Apple ‘chic’ is the fashionable look. You can spot their style a mile off. Apple, perhaps more than any other manufacturer around, has made their technology fashionable. The Apple interface look and those damn glass buttons are still being copied on websites and operating systems all over the place. They’re trendsetters in technostyle and fair play to ’em!

Consoles don’t sell on their appearance. Gamers would never be so superficial! Who care’s what something looks like. It’s like caring about graphics over gameplay! The notion is ridiculous! Nintendo are, apparently, making this point very clear that we should not care about the superficiality of our hobby but care about what it feels like.

Well I’ll tell you this: when you touch a DS Lite or stroke a Nintendo Wii it’ll feel just like the Apple product that it so thinks it is.

This is no accident. Nintendo’s redesign of the DS and their overal design of the Wii is straight from Apple. I really don’t think anybody is going to argue that. Even Wii – a totally made up word makes you notice the ‘i’ more than any other letter. That same ‘i’ as in iPod or iMac. For a made up word it might as well be ‘Woo’ or ‘Wee’ – the latter being far more suited to the notion of “we” and “inclusive gaming” and far less like a mis-typing of Wi-Fi than Wii does. But if Nintendo did that then they wouldn’t share that all important ‘i’ that has seeped into the consumer consciousness of people with Apple products and those aware of iMac and iPod. Frankly, the only way Nintendo could be more blatant would have been to call it iRev.
But what am I going on about? I’m just making this up! Maybe the logic makes some sense but some of you simply must think I’m making too many assumptions in another critical review of Nintendo’s practices.

What if I told you they pulled this stunt over a decade ago?

What if I told you that the last time they did it they were latching onto Sony’s identity and not Apple’s?

“PREPOSTEROUS! YOU KNOW NOTHING!” comes the chants of the Nintendo supporters. I must be making it all up. Right?

Wrong.

Cast your mind back to the way the world was when Nintendo launched their astoundingly succesful Gameboy handheld. That was in 1989. If you weren’t around in 1989 or think I’m asking too much of you to think back that far because you were too young and your the sort of dweeb that happens to go around making “Sony copy Nintendo!” accusations then you can fuck off right now. You’re ignorant and narrow-minded and, most importantly, wrong.

So, 1989. What was big in 1989 around the time the original Gameboy launched? Well, I’ll tell you. It was small. It was portable. It ran on batteries. It was a global phenomenom and it was an entertainment device.

It was the Sony Walkman.

It’s not inaccurate in any way to say that the Sony Walkman was 1989’s cultural equivalent of the Apple iPod. Like the Apple and iPod, Sony and Walkman were synonymous with the ‘walkmans’ of every type and manufacture – even those countless Toshiba, Aiwa, Sanyo, Samsung, Philips and other makes. Sony was the name and Walkman was the brand.

Now, to make my point, say the word “Walkman” in your head at a moderate pace five times over.

Now, say the word “Gameboy” out loud.

Gee whizz! Did you notice that? Walk / Game, Man / Boy ??? There’s some pretty clear brand theft going on there wouldn’t you say?

Nintendo know what they’re doing and they’re happy to act the parasite and latch onto a popular cultural brand if it’s going to raise the profile of their product. They did it with Walkman and they’re currently doing it again, nearly 20 years later, with Apple.

Of course, to see this you need to stop gushing over ever word Nintendo say. You have to stop believing every false claim they make. You have to stop falling for the hype and look for the truth. The truth can be alarmingly obvious – as I’ve just demonstrated.

I wonder if Sony would bother to copy if Nintendo hadn’t been there to show them how to do it in the first place?

Karma

Feed me E3

Hello folks, just a quick note to let you know I’m without a computer, phone or even a desk as I start my new job.

As such, I’m not getting to see much of (or comment on) what’s happening at E3 until I get home in the evenings – at which point there’s so much information to digest that I simply don’t know where to begin!

So, do me a favour and add a couple of comments and links to let me know what you think I should be focusing my attention on.

Much appreciated! 😐

The console formerly known as..

Look, I’m just not going to talk about it. OK? 😐

Nintendo and controllers

Here’s a couple of things that popped into my head recently that re-inforce my views on Nintendo. These are based on facts and are easily researchable on the internet.

See what you think:

Nintendo and analogue
There’s many that would argue that Nintendo, with the N64, introduced analogue control into gaming. Others resist this notion and are often greeted with “Ah, well if they didn’t invent it it’s them that made it popular”.

Nintendo are also frequently credited with the introduction of the d-pad as the common method of control in videogames.

With the above borne in mind, it’s well worth pointing out that many of the earliest videogame controllers were, in fact, analogue joysticks. Furthermore, many early arcade games such as Pong and Missile Command used analogue control in the form of twistable paddles or a trackball.

These methods of control were commonplace before Nintendo introduced the d-pad. In doing so, Nintendo nullified the existence of analogue control (whereby movement is detected in both direction and degrees of travel) and replaced it with digital control (directional control that is either on or off – you are either pushing UP or you aren’t).

With the above borne in mind, did Nintendo really innovate analogue control in games with the N64 or did they simply return what was commonplace in gaming before they saw fit to take it away?

Secondly, and more relevantly

Nintendo and complex controllers
Part of Nintendo’s mantra of the Revolution is to state that game controllers are too complex and are off-putting to fringe gamers who may wish to play games but not wrestle with today’s controllers. By simplifying this culture of complexity they believe they will widen the market and appeal to more people.

Often, statements such as these make their way into gamer culture and are accompanied by statements suggesting that Nintendo have often innovated in the area of game controllers.

Again, bearing in mind the text above, consider this:

Who made game controllers complex in the first place?

In the 8-bit era when Atari had a single button on their joystick – who added three more to their d-pad (don’t forget start and select)

In the 16 bit era, when the Megadrive had 4 surface buttons (a,b,c,start) who added 2 more to the surface and 2 more to the shoulders?

Who introduced two types of directional control to one pad? Who started hiding buttons underneath that pad? Who added analogue control? Who added rumble to console controllers? Who created a design of pad that suggested to the fringe-gamer that they would need three hands to hold it?

Are Nintendo really ‘choosing a new direction and thinking differently’ or are they just tidying up the mess they created in the first place?

I wonder, in a decade’s time – will Nintendo be claiming that games are too short, physically tiring and focus too heavily on one type of gameplay mechanic. Will they ‘once again’ show the rest of the industry how only they can create a solution but, as they do today, attempt to suggest that someone else created the problem?

Give it some thought.