So, it’s been a double whammy of bad news for Nintendo zealots. First the taken-so-long-most-people-fogot-it-existed game GEIST is getting the kind of review scores that suggest it’s nothing earthshatteringly innovative or genre breaking. I would link to reviews but, if you’re reading this then you know how to find stuff on the ‘net.

The news of Geist being merely an 70% style game and not some Nintendo uber-game has been something that the usual zealots seem unable to accept. I’ve seen review sources criticised and labelled as ‘questionable’ simply because a fanboy’s bubble has been burst again.

And there’s nothing like hitting a fanboy when he’s down, in a statement that echos the news of Mario 128’s non-existence, Nintendo have told the world that their flagship Gamecube Zelda title will actually not appear before 2006 as originally promised.

I like the way that they attempt to soften the blow be telling us the time will be spent on “incredible” new gameplay elements for Zelda. Fanboys around the world are already chugging this statement down and coming back for more like some nympho crack whore on speed.

Even cuter is Nintendo’s reminder that other great games from the leading name in innovation and revolution will be available for consumer enjoyment by Xmas 2005. They then go off and list a number of franchise sequels, cross platform franchises and sports games featuring Mario.

Yes, I’m biased against Nintendo. But it doesn’t take a rocket-scientist to see this statement from Nintendo is a botched bad-news salvage operation. The fact that the best they can do to make the bad news sound like good news is to give a paper-thin promise of incredible new playability and rattle off a list of IP whoring titles just doesn’t cut it.

However, facts never got in the way of a devoted fanboy and, by gum, they sure aren’t going to get in the way now. Response has been positive with the fanboys being happy that the delay will assure that a great game will be made even better and quoting the a Nintendo endorsed mantra of “A delayed game will eventually be good, a rushed game will be bad forever”. Yeah, well I’ve got three words as a response to that:

Star Fox Adventures

So, like I said, I have a great idea for a game. I really do. I know that I need the creative talent at Running With Scissors to give it the edge it needs. All I can offer is the game’s working title right now. I think it’s a hum-dinger:

Fanboy Holocaust

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